James and Asperger's

http://www.childmind.org/en/posts/articles/2011-5-19-James-Durbin-still-idol

James Durbin: Still an Idol
Rocker's tears, struggles, and triumph inspire Asperger's community

by Beth Arky

James Durbin may no longer be in the running for the American Idol crown, but he's already a winner to the millions who voted for him during his run on the program. This definitely includes the 30,000 screaming fans who showed up on the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk for the rocker's homecoming the Saturday after his shocking May 12 elimination.

But to those in the Asperger's, autism, and Tourette's communities, the onetime front-runner is more than a winner-he's a hero, a role model, and a beacon of hope. They understand how much he has had to overcome to get this far, both in terms of Idol and his personal life. And even as he puts a "new face" on these disorders, he personifies just how wide and complex the autism spectrum is, even within the Asperger's diagnosis. He also shows what people with the disorder can accomplish.

Durbin has diagnoses of both Tourette's disorder and Asperger's syndrome (AS), a so-called "high-functioning" form of autism. Once the show went from prerecorded to live broadcasts, producers could no longer rely on edited interviews and viewers saw more of Durbin's tics and high emotions. But where most attributed his crying, whether while he was performing touching songs or watching his rivals, to stress and missing his family, those in the Asperger's community recognized this as well as Durbin's other "different" behaviors-impulsivity, obsessions, and apparent "cockiness"-as hallmarks of AS.

These symptoms, like his facial tics, only get more pronounced under stress. By the time Durbin reached the top 13, the show had become a grueling endurance race as much as a vocal competition. Idol's intensity takes a toll on all; fellow contestant Casey Abrams landed in the hospital twice, reportedly for ulcerative colitis, which required two blood transfusions. Those familiar with Durbin's diagnoses can well imagine how hard the experience must have been for him.

Stress and the Autism Spectrum

Typically, those on the spectrum crave sameness and routine, making the unpredictable Idol experience an even more intense pressure cooker, both on and off-stage. When the final 13 moved into their Beverly Hills mega-mansion in early March, Durbin was thrust into a new world, separated from loved ones who provide the added support someone on the spectrum often needs.

For instance: when Durbin's first taped interview showed fiancée Heidi taping up affirmations like "I believe in my gift," "I believe I am amazing," and "I believe in my music" throughout their stark apartment, those in the autism community identified them as visuals prompts, a commonly used technique many on the spectrum find helpful. It's not known whether the show provided Durbin with similar support or how much Heidi was able to offer from the outside. And because those with Asperger's often find transitions difficult, Idol would have been even more fraught. One can imagine how tough it must have been for Durbin as he saw fellow finalists-especially "bromantic" partner Stefano Langone-depart, one by one. And then there were the anticipated visits from Heidi and Hunter, now 2, which ended in goodbyes again and again.

Clearly, Heidi has changed James' life. "She's my guardian angel," he's said. When they got together, Durbin says, he "was 19, living at my mom's house, no job, no car, no money, no license even, no diploma. I was about as low as you can get and then I met her and everything just changed. I wanted to be a better person. I wanted to succeed." Flash forward a couple of years to the start of his current journey: he was again unemployed and struggling to afford diapers for Hunter when he set out for Idol's San Francisco auditions with Heidi, determined to make a better life for his young family.

Durbin's most noted behavior, of course, was crying. "You sing from a very different place than a lot of the people we see," Lopez told him at his first, teary audition. "You sing from where you're supposed to sing from: from feeling, from heart, from your soul, from the need to feel and make others feel." But waterworks during interviews, while sitting on the sidelines, during rehearsals?

When roommate Langone was cut on April 21st, an already teary Durbin rushed onstage, grabbed him-and, some would say, the spotlight-and swung him around. Later, Durbin reportedly stalked offstage in what was viewed as "inappropriate" behavior.

Then, when it came time for Durbin to rehearse the mournful Harry Nilsson ballad "Without You," he choked up upon hearing the lyrics, walked outside and dropped to the ground, weeping. "Why I'm out here is to make a better life for my family," Durbin told music producer Jimmy Iovine and Sheryl Crow, who sat in on the rehearsal. "But every time Heidi and Hunter come to visit and they have to leave, you know, I have to let them go." Crow worried that Durbin might not be able to make it through the song, but he did.

A LOT of Emotion

Some in the Asperger's and autism community feel there's more to Durbin's heart-on-his-sleeve style. They see it as emotional dysregulation, another "spectrum-y" quality. Pianist and songwriter Lindsey Nedeker, who has autism, recognizes in Durbin her own reaction to compliments after a performance: "When he's not performing, I can tell from his face that he's very shy and humbled by the overwhelming applause and cheers from audience," she says. "That can trigger an unregulated emotion, which can be very hard for us on the spectrum to handle."

Early on, some adults with Asperger's doubted Durbin's diagnosis precisely because of his emotionality, most notably on the community forum wrongplanet.com. This drew the ire of Lynne Soraya, who has AS and writes the "Asperger's Diary" blog for Psychology Today's website. "I was particularly offended by the people in the beginning who cited James' emotional behavior as 'evidence' he could not have Asperger's," she says. "For my part, that was one of the criteria that made me think he did." And any parent, relative, or friend of someone on the autism spectrum knows that though the person may have trouble picking up social cues or communicating, they are by no means without emotion. This difficulty regulating emotion doesn't only apply to sadness or joy; when highly stressed and unable to express their feelings, some on the spectrum can escalate into the violent tantrums observers may chalk up to "bratty, disobedient" kids who can't be controlled by their "bad" parents.

Other forms of dysregulation include impulsivity, hyperactivity, and lack of focus. Indeed, there were times when Durbin got so riled up after a performance that host Ryan Seacrest had to tell him to settle down-and sit down. This is nothing new-young children with AS are often first misdiagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder.

And then there was the April incident with Jimmy Iovine. Durbin was set to perform Sammy Hagar's "Heavy Metal"; Iovine suggested he choose another, more commercial, song. Durbin called out to viewers, "Give metal a chance!" then went on to perform what many deemed the best performance of the night. "I'm glad you went with your feelings," Tyler said. "Nice lip to Jimmy, man." But again, those with insight into Asperger's feel Durbin was respectful but firm, not rude or cocky. He was being an artist, and himself.

We're Amazed

Durbin's behavior left some wondering if he could perform his May 12 swan song, "Maybe I'm Amazed." Clearly, he wanted to-for Heidi. After Seacrest announced the stunning news of his departure, Durbin kept mouthing "I'm OK" while looking toward someone in the audience-Heidi. The already emotional lyrics would have even deeper meaning for him:

"Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time...Maybe I'm a man, maybe I'm a lonely man who's in the middle of something that he doesn't really understand. Maybe I'm a man, maybe you're the woman who can only help me, baby won't you help me understand."

Despite his sadness and disappointment, Durbin moved through the audience as he sang, stopping to give Heidi a big hug and kiss before returning to the stage, tears staining his cheeks. It's this moving bond that gives AS parents hope that their children will also be able to go on to have successful relationships. Nebeker and Soraya are further living proof: Nebeker just bought her first house with longtime boyfriend, who also has autism, while Soraya has been with her husband for years.

As for Durbin's obsession with wrestling, as evidenced by his joyful, almost childlike reaction when hero Hulk Hogan made a surprise appearance on Idol, those in the autism community recognize this as another symptom—a profound preoccupation with a thing, a subject, or even a person. This can also be viewed as stubbornness or opposition. (Those who are less-verbal and nonverbal may engage in another telltale behavior called perseveration, or repetitive motions; this is often undertaken as self-stimulation, or "stimming," like rocking back and forth.) Often, people with AS can channel this determination and intense focus in a positive way, as Durbin seems to have done with his musical talent.

But not always; Soraya says it's easy to fixate on failures. So when Durbin was cut, she saw the potential for a breakdown, "since he wanted to win so badly." Soraya wonders if Heidi didn't encourage him to focus on the good versus the bad when Durbin bravely told Seacrest that he'd worked hard and "done what I came here to do, to give metal a chance." Los Angeles Times blogger Amy Reiter wrote, "It could have been a laugh line if James wasn't so serious about it. And it was James' very seriousness of purpose that made the voters' choice so sad. James seemed more focused-and seemed to have staked more than any of the other contestants on snagging the Idol crown."

Lasting Effects

It's now fashionable to speculate as to whether Durbin will be as successful post-Idol as fellow rocker and fourth-place finisher Chris Daughtry, but his future looks bright. News of his elimination may have crashed Twitter; many have vowed to not watch the rest of the season of the now Durbin-less show; there's buzz about his first single, a recording contract, a movie, and a memoir; he's making the talk-show rounds not only on the expected (Live With Regis and Kelly) but also the unexpected (Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, The Ellen DeGeneres Show). And he's collected some bold-faced fans including Kyra Sedgwick, Alyssa Milano and writer/director James L. Brooks, all of whom tweeted their outrage at his elimination.

This is fantastic for James. But what he has done, and hopefully will continue to do, for people with autism spectrum disorders and Tourette's is show them that you can succeed, and that other people are capable of accepting you as you are. As Durbin told DeGeneres-who said she had pegged him as the winner and was "heartbroken" when he was sent home-"it's so special and so heartwarming...that I'm able to be a voice for some people [who are] too afraid to speak out that it's OK to be different, it's OK to be weird or a freak. I embrace it: I'm freaky. I'm different. Different's the new normal."

He has also shown persuasively to an often uneducated and skeptical public that people with autism spectrum disorders can love-and deeply. And that, with a little understanding and education, we can stop sneering or crossing the street and start enjoying the gifts that they have to give, like that voice.

A recent study in South Korea funded by Autism Speaks surprised the experts when it found a high rate of undiagnosed Asperger's among schoolchildren who had never received special education or services but may have seemed eccentric, shy, or extremely talented or smart. It makes one wonder just how many James Durbins are sitting in neighborhood classrooms around the United States who, if diagnosed correctly, could be supported to achieve their full potential.

For more about James Durbin, read American Idol: Can James Durbin Defeat Stigma?

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An excellent article that gives specific examples of James' aspie tendencies, explains some of his behavior in technical terms, and highlights his coping mechanisms. Very interesting read. Hard to fathom that some people are still skeptical that James has Asperger's, but I guess suspicion remains dominant in our society. Especially when some would rather brand him as arrogant, difficult, and dramatic instead of showing compassion and understanding.

A Fan